For someone guilty of leaving hair in the drain

Drain Clearance Notice

For the housemate who leaves the shower looking like a crime scene. Choose 3 charges from 9, or write your own.

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The notice and the serving script, delivered instantly. Print it, or send the link.
Bureau of Personal Hygiene
Notice of Warning
In the matter of Accumulation of Matter in a Shared Outlet
File DRA-9278Issued SEPTEMBER 18, 2026Served under youvebeenserved.shop
OffenseLeaving hair in the drainSeverityStep 1 of 3 · Notice of Warning
In the matter of
Marcus
Respondent · hereinafter “the Occupant”
v.
Upon complaint of
Sarah
Complainant · a member of the household

You are hereby notified that the above-named Respondent has been found, upon evidence gathered over a period of considerable patience, to be in breach of the following provisions:

Provisions breached
  1. § 2.2a
    Accumulation in a shared outlet. Leaving matter at a drain for another party to encounter.
  2. § 2.2b
    Wall application. Relocating matter to a vertical tiled surface as an interim measure.
  3. § 2.2c
    The standing water. Permitting a blockage to develop to the point of a shallow indoor pond.

It is therefore ordered that the Respondent clear the drain after every use, with your own hand, effective immediately. You are advised that continued conduct of this nature will be escalated.

Compliance will be monitored. There is no appeals process, and there is no one to appeal to.

Response required

The Respondent is required to answer. Detach the stub below and scan the code. Your answer is recorded and forwarded to the complainant.

Signed, the complainant
Sarah
Witness to service
print name
This notice is a gift and carries no legal force whatsoever. It is, however, extremely accurate.
detach and keep
Redemption stub · file DRA-9278
Marcus
Scan to answer

You are required to respond. Choose one:

No camera? Go to youvebeenserved.shop

VOID00
Also included · the serving script

The words to say while you hand it over.

“Serve it while the shower is still running. Take them to the drain.”

  • The script to read while serving them, in order
  • Stage directions, where to stand, when to pause
  • Best performed to an audience. Film it.

They are probably guilty of something else too

§ 12.1Never replacing the toilet rollReplenishment Order§ 7.6Loading the dishwasher wrongLoading Standards Notice§ 16.5Watching a whole season in one sittingContinuous Viewing Order§ 36.10Buying the loudest possible toyAcoustic Gift Injunction

Also called hair · shower · drain · bathroom · gross