Visit Duration Order

For the in-laws whose three nights have entered a second week. Choose 5 charges from 9, or write your own.

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Visit Duration Order · two documents · 5 charges you choose + the serving script
Office of Extended Family Relations
Final Notice
In the matter of Occupation Exceeding the Agreed Term
File EXT-9870Issued AUGUST 23, 2026Served under youvebeenserved.shop
In the matter of
Marcus
Respondent · hereinafter “the Occupant”
v.
Upon complaint of
Sarah
Complainant · a member of the household

You are hereby notified that the above-named Respondent has been found, upon evidence gathered over a period of considerable patience, to be in breach of the following provisions:

  1. § 36.7a
    Occupation exceeding term. Remaining beyond the period agreed before arrival.
  2. § 36.7b
    Extension by increment. Adding one night at a time so that no single request seems large.
  3. § 36.7c
    The open return. Arriving with travel arrangements deliberately unfixed.
  4. § 36.7d
    Routine imposition. Establishing mealtimes and television habits in another household.
  5. § 36.7e
    Room annexation. Converting a shared space into private accommodation for the duration.

It is therefore ordered that the Respondent depart on the day stated when the visit was arranged, effective immediately. This is a final notice. No further warnings will be issued. Compliance will be monitored. There is no appeals process, and there is no one to appeal to.

Response required

The Respondent is required to answer this notice. Detach the stub below and scan it; you may plead guilty, plead not guilty and appeal, or refuse to acknowledge the notice. Your answer is recorded and forwarded to the complainant.

OffenseThe weekend visit that becomes a fortnightSeverityStep 2 of 3 · Final Notice
Signed, the complainant
Sarah
Witness to service
print name
This notice is a gift and carries no legal force whatsoever. It is, however, extremely accurate. Not medical advice — but do get up.
detach and keep
Redemption stub · file EXT-9870
Marcus

Scan to respond. You may plead guilty, appeal, or refuse to acknowledge this notice. Your response is recorded and forwarded to the complainant.

https://www.youvebeenserved.shop
VOID00
Also included · the serving script

The words to say while you hand it over.

“Serve it on the original departure date, at breakfast.”

  • The exact lines to read aloud, in order
  • Stage directions — where to stand, when to pause
  • Best performed to an audience. Film it.

They are probably guilty of something else too

§ 36.2Unsolicited parenting adviceUnsolicited Guidance Order§ 36.3Undermining the rules with the grandchildrenRule Undermining Injunction§ 36.8Rearranging your kitchen while “helping”Unauthorised Reorganisation Notice§ 36.10Buying the loudest possible toyAcoustic Gift Injunction