Unsolicited Guidance Order

For the relative who has an opinion on every decision you make about your own child. Choose 5 charges from 9, or write your own.

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Unsolicited Guidance Order · two documents · 5 charges you choose + the serving script
Office of Extended Family Relations
Final Notice
In the matter of Provision of Guidance Not Requested
File PAR-6542Issued AUGUST 23, 2026Served under youvebeenserved.shop
In the matter of
Marcus
Respondent · hereinafter “the Occupant”
v.
Upon complaint of
Sarah
Complainant · a member of the household

You are hereby notified that the above-named Respondent has been found, upon evidence gathered over a period of considerable patience, to be in breach of the following provisions:

  1. § 36.2a
    Provision of unrequested guidance. Advising on matters on which no advice was sought.
  2. § 36.2b
    The era citation. Justifying a practice on the basis that it was done in a previous decade.
  3. § 36.2c
    Public correction. Contradicting a parent in front of the child concerned.
  4. § 36.2d
    Volume of instruction. Producing guidance at a rate exceeding any single visit’s capacity.
  5. § 36.2e
    Sleep commentary. Addressing the routine at length while resident in a different house.

It is therefore ordered that the Respondent offer advice only when it is asked for, and once, effective immediately. This is a final notice. No further warnings will be issued. Compliance will be monitored. There is no appeals process, and there is no one to appeal to.

Response required

The Respondent is required to answer this notice. Detach the stub below and scan it; you may plead guilty, plead not guilty and appeal, or refuse to acknowledge the notice. Your answer is recorded and forwarded to the complainant.

OffenseUnsolicited parenting adviceSeverityStep 2 of 3 · Final Notice
Signed, the complainant
Sarah
Witness to service
print name
This notice is a gift and carries no legal force whatsoever. It is, however, extremely accurate. Not medical advice — but do get up.
detach and keep
Redemption stub · file PAR-6542
Marcus

Scan to respond. You may plead guilty, appeal, or refuse to acknowledge this notice. Your response is recorded and forwarded to the complainant.

https://www.youvebeenserved.shop
VOID00
Also included · the serving script

The words to say while you hand it over.

“Serve it during the advice. Do not wait for a natural pause; there will not be one.”

  • The exact lines to read aloud, in order
  • Stage directions — where to stand, when to pause
  • Best performed to an audience. Film it.

They are probably guilty of something else too

§ 36.7The weekend visit that becomes a fortnightVisit Duration Order§ 36.3Undermining the rules with the grandchildrenRule Undermining Injunction§ 36.8Rearranging your kitchen while “helping”Unauthorised Reorganisation Notice§ 36.10Buying the loudest possible toyAcoustic Gift Injunction