For someone guilty of never being the one to go home

Departure Notice

For the friend who has never once left a party before it ended, or after. Choose 3 charges from 9, or write your own.

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Office of Revelry
Notice of Warning
In the matter of Refusal to Conclude
File NEV-2431Issued SEPTEMBER 18, 2026Served under youvebeenserved.shop
OffenseNever being the one to go homeSeverityStep 1 of 3 · Notice of Warning
In the matter of
Marcus
Respondent · hereinafter “the Occupant”
v.
Upon complaint of
Sarah
Complainant · a member of the household

You are hereby notified that the above-named Respondent has been found, upon evidence gathered over a period of considerable patience, to be in breach of the following provisions:

Provisions breached
  1. § 35.2a
    Refusal to conclude. Remaining at every occasion until it has demonstrably finished.
  2. § 35.2b
    Music reactivation. Restoring audio that had been switched off with intent.
  3. § 35.2c
    The rediscovered bottle. Locating further supplies in a house that had run out.

It is therefore ordered that the Respondent leave once, voluntarily, before being the last person standing, effective immediately. You are advised that continued conduct of this nature will be escalated.

Compliance will be monitored. There is no appeals process, and there is no one to appeal to.

Response required

The Respondent is required to answer. Detach the stub below and scan the code. Your answer is recorded and forwarded to the complainant.

Signed, the complainant
Sarah
Witness to service
print name
This notice is a gift and carries no legal force whatsoever. It is, however, extremely accurate.
detach and keep
Redemption stub · file NEV-2431
Marcus
Scan to answer

You are required to respond. Choose one:

No camera? Go to youvebeenserved.shop

VOID00
Also included · the serving script

The words to say while you hand it over.

“Serve it at two in the morning, at the door, holding it open.”

  • The script to read while serving them, in order
  • Stage directions, where to stand, when to pause
  • Best performed to an audience. Film it.

They are probably guilty of something else too

§ 18.1Chewing with your mouth openMastication Conduct Order§ 19.1A package arriving every single dayImpulse Acquisition Warning§ 34.1Keeping absolutely everythingAccumulation Cease and Desist§ 37.2On their phone all the timeUndivided Attention Order

Also called partying · party · drinking · nightout · clubbing