For someone guilty of a package arriving every single day

Impulse Acquisition Warning

For the one whose delivery driver knows them by name and by first name. Choose 3 charges from 9, or write your own.

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The notice and the serving script, delivered instantly. Print it, or send the link.
Office of Provisioning and Retail
Notice of Warning
In the matter of Acquisition Without Deliberation
File PAC-7858Issued SEPTEMBER 18, 2026Served under youvebeenserved.shop
OffenseA package arriving every single daySeverityStep 1 of 3 · Notice of Warning
In the matter of
Marcus
Respondent · hereinafter “the Occupant”
v.
Upon complaint of
Sarah
Complainant · a member of the household

You are hereby notified that the above-named Respondent has been found, upon evidence gathered over a period of considerable patience, to be in breach of the following provisions:

Provisions breached
  1. § 19.1a
    Acquisition without deliberation. Completing a purchase within ninety seconds of first seeing the item.
  2. § 19.1b
    Nocturnal ordering. Transacting at an hour at which judgement is demonstrably reduced.
  3. § 19.1c
    The advertised discovery. Buying an item first encountered as an advertisement forty seconds earlier.

It is therefore ordered that the Respondent place items in the basket and leave them there for two days, effective immediately. You are advised that continued conduct of this nature will be escalated.

Compliance will be monitored. There is no appeals process, and there is no one to appeal to.

Response required

The Respondent is required to answer. Detach the stub below and scan the code. Your answer is recorded and forwarded to the complainant.

Signed, the complainant
Sarah
Witness to service
print name
This notice is a gift and carries no legal force whatsoever. It is, however, extremely accurate.
detach and keep
Redemption stub · file PAC-7858
Marcus
Scan to answer

You are required to respond. Choose one:

No camera? Go to youvebeenserved.shop

VOID00
Also included · the serving script

The words to say while you hand it over.

“Serve it at the door, while accepting the day’s package.”

  • The script to read while serving them, in order
  • Stage directions, where to stand, when to pause
  • Best performed to an audience. Film it.

They are probably guilty of something else too

§ 18.1Chewing with your mouth openMastication Conduct Order§ 34.1Keeping absolutely everythingAccumulation Cease and Desist§ 37.2On their phone all the timeUndivided Attention Order§ 2.6Farting in front of everyoneAmbient Emission Notice

Also called groceries · shopaholic · spending · online · amazon · impulse · splurge