For someone guilty of never taking in a package

Package Custody Notice

For the neighbor who is always in, and never in when a package needs signing for. Choose 3 charges from 9, or write your own.

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The notice and the serving script, delivered instantly. Print it, or send the link.
Office of Neighborly Relations
Notice of Warning
In the matter of Refusal of Neighborly Custody
File PAC-3527Issued SEPTEMBER 18, 2026Served under youvebeenserved.shop
OffenseNever taking in a packageSeverityStep 1 of 3 · Notice of Warning
In the matter of
Marcus
Respondent · hereinafter “the Occupant”
v.
Upon complaint of
Sarah
Complainant · a member of the household

You are hereby notified that the above-named Respondent has been found, upon evidence gathered over a period of considerable patience, to be in breach of the following provisions:

Provisions breached
  1. § 30.4a
    Refusal of custody. Declining to accept a package on behalf of a neighbor while demonstrably at home.
  2. § 30.4b
    The unmentioned package. Accepting a package and then saying nothing about it for eleven days.
  3. § 30.4c
    Storage in an unsuitable place. Housing a neighbor’s package outdoors, under weather, beside a trash can.

It is therefore ordered that the Respondent accept one package, hold it safely, and mention that you have it, effective immediately. You are advised that continued conduct of this nature will be escalated.

Compliance will be monitored. There is no appeals process, and there is no one to appeal to.

Response required

The Respondent is required to answer. Detach the stub below and scan the code. Your answer is recorded and forwarded to the complainant.

Signed, the complainant
Sarah
Witness to service
print name
This notice is a gift and carries no legal force whatsoever. It is, however, extremely accurate.
detach and keep
Redemption stub · file PAC-3527
Marcus
Scan to answer

You are required to respond. Choose one:

No camera? Go to youvebeenserved.shop

VOID00
Also included · the serving script

The words to say while you hand it over.

“Serve it while holding the card that says they were not in.”

  • The script to read while serving them, in order
  • Stage directions, where to stand, when to pause
  • Best performed to an audience. Film it.

They are probably guilty of something else too

§ 24.3TV at a volume nobody needsBroadcast Volume Order§ 20.1Turning up unannouncedUnannounced Visit Notice§ 30.1Not picking up after the dogFouling Removal Order§ 25.1The repair that never happensDeferred Repair Notice

Also called packages · deliveries · neighbor · post