For someone guilty of turning up unannounced

Unannounced Visit Notice

For the relative who considers the doorbell a form of advance warning. Choose 3 charges from 9, or write your own.

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Office of Hospitality
Notice of Warning
In the matter of Arrival Without Prior Notice
File UNA-8254Issued SEPTEMBER 18, 2026Served under youvebeenserved.shop
OffenseTurning up unannouncedSeverityStep 1 of 3 · Notice of Warning
In the matter of
Marcus
Respondent · hereinafter “the Occupant”
v.
Upon complaint of
Sarah
Complainant · a member of the household

You are hereby notified that the above-named Respondent has been found, upon evidence gathered over a period of considerable patience, to be in breach of the following provisions:

Provisions breached
  1. § 20.1a
    Arrival without notice. Presenting at a dwelling with no prior communication of any kind.
  2. § 20.1b
    The passing claim. Describing a journey of forty minutes as being in the area anyway.
  3. § 20.1c
    Timing against meals. Selecting the hour at which food is on the table.

It is therefore ordered that the Respondent send a message and await a reply before setting off, effective immediately. You are advised that continued conduct of this nature will be escalated.

Compliance will be monitored. There is no appeals process, and there is no one to appeal to.

Response required

The Respondent is required to answer. Detach the stub below and scan the code. Your answer is recorded and forwarded to the complainant.

Signed, the complainant
Sarah
Witness to service
print name
This notice is a gift and carries no legal force whatsoever. It is, however, extremely accurate.
detach and keep
Redemption stub · file UNA-8254
Marcus
Scan to answer

You are required to respond. Choose one:

No camera? Go to youvebeenserved.shop

VOID00
Also included · the serving script

The words to say while you hand it over.

“Serve it at the door. Do not invite them in first.”

  • The script to read while serving them, in order
  • Stage directions, where to stand, when to pause
  • Best performed to an audience. Film it.

They are probably guilty of something else too

§ 18.1Chewing with your mouth openMastication Conduct Order§ 19.1A package arriving every single dayImpulse Acquisition Warning§ 34.1Keeping absolutely everythingAccumulation Cease and Desist§ 37.2On their phone all the timeUndivided Attention Order

Also called visitors · dropping · in · guests · inlaws · neighbor