Unreturned Goods Notice

You are hereby notified that the above-named Respondent has been found, upon evidence gathered over a period of considerable patience, to be in breach of the following provisions:

1. § 19.2a
   Non-execution of returns. Declaring an intention to return goods and not doing so.
2. § 19.2b
   Hallway staging. Establishing a permanent collection point beside the front door.
3. § 19.2c
   Window expiry. Allowing the return period to lapse and then keeping the item anyway.
4. § 19.2d
   Multi-size ordering. Acquiring an item in three sizes with the intention of returning two.
5. § 19.2e
   The unprinted label. Citing the absence of a printer as a permanent obstacle.

It is therefore ordered that the Respondent return unwanted goods within the week or keep them without further comment, effective immediately. You are advised that continued conduct of this nature will be escalated. Compliance will be monitored. There is no appeals process, and there is no one to appeal to.