For someone guilty of standing the instant the plane lands

Premature Standing Order

For the passenger who is on their feet before the seatbelt sign is off, going nowhere. Choose 3 charges from 9, or write your own.

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Department of Conveyance
Notice of Warning
In the matter of Premature Vertical Assembly
File STA-3549Issued SEPTEMBER 18, 2026Served under youvebeenserved.shop
OffenseStanding the instant the plane landsSeverityStep 1 of 3 · Notice of Warning
In the matter of
Marcus
Respondent · hereinafter “the Occupant”
v.
Upon complaint of
Sarah
Complainant · a member of the household

You are hereby notified that the above-named Respondent has been found, upon evidence gathered over a period of considerable patience, to be in breach of the following provisions:

Provisions breached
  1. § 11.2a
    Premature assembly. Rising before the aircraft has completed its taxi.
  2. § 11.2b
    The stooped vigil. Standing in a crouch beneath a closed locker for eleven minutes.
  3. § 11.2c
    Aisle occupation. Occupying the aisle while thirty rows ahead have not begun to move.

It is therefore ordered that the Respondent remain seated until the row ahead of you has actually moved, effective immediately. You are advised that continued conduct of this nature will be escalated.

Compliance will be monitored. There is no appeals process, and there is no one to appeal to.

Response required

The Respondent is required to answer. Detach the stub below and scan the code. Your answer is recorded and forwarded to the complainant.

Signed, the complainant
Sarah
Witness to service
print name
This notice is a gift and carries no legal force whatsoever. It is, however, extremely accurate.
detach and keep
Redemption stub · file STA-3549
Marcus
Scan to answer

You are required to respond. Choose one:

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VOID00
Also included · the serving script

The words to say while you hand it over.

“Serve it while they are standing, bent double, under the locker.”

  • The script to read while serving them, in order
  • Stage directions, where to stand, when to pause
  • Best performed to an audience. Film it.

They are probably guilty of something else too

§ 27.2Texting while drivingHandheld Device Injunction§ 22.2Checking in everywhereLocation Broadcast Notice§ 11.1Reclining the seat fullySeat Recline Injunction§ 11.3Taking both armrestsArmrest Allocation Order

Also called flight · plane · landing · travel · impatient