For someone guilty of sending eleven-minute voice notes

Voice Note Cease and Desist

For the one whose message cannot be skimmed, searched, or survived. Choose 3 charges from 9, or write your own.

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Office of Digital Correspondence
Notice of Warning
In the matter of Transmission of Recordings of Excessive Length
File VOI-2219Issued SEPTEMBER 18, 2026Served under youvebeenserved.shop
OffenseSending eleven-minute voice notesSeverityStep 1 of 3 · Notice of Warning
In the matter of
Marcus
Respondent · hereinafter “the Occupant”
v.
Upon complaint of
Sarah
Complainant · a member of the household

You are hereby notified that the above-named Respondent has been found, upon evidence gathered over a period of considerable patience, to be in breach of the following provisions:

Provisions breached
  1. § 21.3a
    Excessive duration. Transmission of eleven minutes of audio in place of two sentences of text.
  2. § 21.3b
    Unsearchable content. Delivery of essential information in a format that cannot be scanned or ever found again.
  3. § 21.3c
    Ambient interference. Recording undertaken while walking, driving, or standing beside a busy road.

It is therefore ordered that the Respondent type it, or say it in under sixty (60) seconds, effective immediately. You are advised that continued conduct of this nature will be escalated.

Compliance will be monitored. There is no appeals process, and there is no one to appeal to.

Response required

The Respondent is required to answer. Detach the stub below and scan the code. Your answer is recorded and forwarded to the complainant.

Signed, the complainant
Sarah
Witness to service
print name
This notice is a gift and carries no legal force whatsoever. It is, however, extremely accurate.
detach and keep
Redemption stub · file VOI-2219
Marcus
Scan to answer

You are required to respond. Choose one:

No camera? Go to youvebeenserved.shop

VOID00
Also included · the serving script

The words to say while you hand it over.

“Serve in person, in silence, and let them read it at their own pace. The contrast is the point.”

  • The script to read while serving them, in order
  • Stage directions, where to stand, when to pause
  • Best performed to an audience. Film it.

They are probably guilty of something else too

§ 31.2Being late to everythingChronic Lateness Warning§ 18.3Phone at the dinner tableDinner Table Phone Ban§ 16.8Spoiling the endingSpoiler Cease and Desist§ 21.2Leaving messages on readRead Receipt Citation

Also called voice · notes · messages · phone · texting · long